Hebi gets a cat
by akwordturtle2012
Summary: Sasuke hears something in the woods and sends Suigetsu to check it out


"Are we there yet

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Where are we going again?"

"Somewhere."

"Are we there yet?"

"_No._"

Sasuke sighed and tried to look on the bright side. Then remembered there was no bright side. He had no idea where they were going, where they were, or anything like that, and Suigetsu had been pestering him for the past three hours. It all started with what seemed like a foolproof plan. To beat a group of homicidal lunatics, he started his own, smaller group of homicidal lunatics. Then things got kinda tricky. He had a vague idea of where they should go, and he hoped to find an Akatsuki spy on the way to 'interrogate'. Unfortunately, Suigetsu had other ideas.

A loud, obnoxious voice interrupted his thoughts. "Sasuke, Suigetsu just hit me!"

Karin, the loud, hot pink haired member of the group, couldn't go for half an hour without provoking Suigetsu, the loud, white haired member of the group. After Suigetsu heard that Sasuke's old team had taken down his old sensei, he immediately dragged the team to the Land of Waves to find Zabuza's sword. They found the sword fine (and stole it from the grave, something Sasuke was not happy with) but getting back turned out to be a big problem. Now they were lost in a forest somewhere. Great. Juuuuust great.

"It's not my fault," whined Suigetsu, "Karin stole my water bottle. And I'm tired, and hungry, and thirsty, and cold."

"Don't complain! Sasuke obviously knows what he's doing. And I didn't steal it," her comment was now directed at Sasuke, "I just borrowed it. I was thirsty."

Sasuke realized that he needed to take charge of the situation before a fight broke out. Again. He looked back and snapped, "Both of you be quiet. You're starting to upset Juugo." It was true. The usually calm member of the little team was starting to shake. Sasuke had no intention of dealing with Juugo's other side, and hoped that Suigetsu and Karin had the same view.

Looking back again, Sasuke saw that the two nuisances were silently glaring at each other, and trying to avoid Juugo. He could get used to this silence, but he knew it wouldn't last for long.

The leading ninja stopped suddenly. There was something in the trees near them, and Sasuke was sure it wasn't a normal forest animal. He held up a hand, signaling the others to stop as well.

"What's goin' on?" asked Juugo, speaking at last.

"There's something in the bushes. Obviously they have great skill, to follow us so silently."

Suigetsu smirked. "That's why you have us along. To deal with the little guys." He twirled his new sword. "I've been itching to use this thing against a real opponent for a while. Fire wood just can't test a sword's capabilities like people can."

Without stopping to hear Sasuke's reply, Suigetsu walked towards the sound. He looked around, but didn't see any ninja. Instead, he saw a cat. A small, weak-looking cat. He sighed, realizing that he couldn't use his sword against the poor creature, but soon grinned. "Ha! I can't wait to see Sasuke's face when he sees that our stalker isn't some ninja, just a little kitty."

--Page break--

"I know it's a cat. It's quite obvious actually, without you repeating it again and again. What I want to know is why it's here." Sasuke was not pleased by the most recent turn of events. Not only were they lost, now Suigetsu had to drag in a cat. And Juugo would want to keep it. If Suigetsu was not holding the cat in a protective manner, Sasuke would have kicked it out into the forest where it came from. He gave Suigetsu an 'I want my question answered _now_' look.

Suigetsu got the message. "Well, it's like this. I found the cat, and I was just gonna leave it, but I figured we could train it or something, and I thought it would be nice to have a pet, and I thought Juugo would like it..."

Sasuke zoned out for the rest of Suigetsu's explanation, which seemed to be one long sentence with a whole lotta "and"s. He tuned in just in time to hear "And so we should keep it. I think we should name him Fred."

Sasuke groaned. There were many things his dysfunctional team needed, but a cat was not high on the list. In fact, a cat was not on the list at all.

"I think it's adorable. We could use a kitty around here." Karin decided to add her obvious opinion.

"I think," said Juugo, full attention on the cat, "we should keep it. It's cuddly."

"We are not keeping it, and that is final!" Sasuke was tired of this. He did not like animals, and wanted to get rid of the cat as fast as possible. He had no intention of keeping a pet cat.

Unfortunately for him, his remarks sent Juugo over the edge.

"I. Want. The. Kitty." Juugo started ripping apart the surrounding forest, not caring what got in his way. Sasuke knew that there was only one thing he could do to save the lives of his teammates.

"We can keep the stupid cat, but you're taking care of it." His team calmed down, and continued on their long hunt for Itachi, but this time with a small cat in Juugo's arms.

Karin and Suigetsu soon forgot about the cat, and most of the care fell into Sasuke's hands. He no longer minded. In fact, they even named the cat Fred Uchiha.


End file.
